fejonesliveWe talk a great deal about love, compassion, kindness, patience, and forgiveness. We teach these virtues in our churches, discuss them in our relationships, and encourage people to demonstrate them in their everyday lives.
But how often do we stop to examine the thinking that governs how we practice them?
How do we expect someone to develop patience when they interpret every inconvenience as disrespect? How can we expect a person to demonstrate compassion when they have never learned to consider another person’s circumstances? And how can someone practice healthy love when their understanding of love has been shaped by fear, manipulation, rejection, or unhealthy relationships?
These questions matter because our understanding of love influences how we practice love.
Someone can genuinely believe they are being loving while behaving in ways that are controlling, intrusive, or harmful. They may have good intentions, but good intentions do not automatically produce good outcomes.
This is where I believe we need to examine something Scripture has been teaching us for thousands of years: the relationship between our heart, our thinking, and the transformation of our character.
And when we bring what we understand today about psychology and cognitive neuroscience into this conversation, we begin to appreciate another dimension of why the renewal of our minds is so important.
The Biblical Heart Is More Than Emotion
In modern conversation, we often use the word heart when talking about our feelings and the word mind when talking about our thoughts.
We tell people to follow their hearts, think with their heads, or stop overthinking and simply love.
But this separation does not adequately represent how Scripture describes the inner person.
The Hebrew words lev and levav, along with the Greek word kardia, frequently describe more than emotional experiences. Depending on the context, they encompass thoughts, understanding, intentions, desires, motivations, beliefs, and the will.
In other words, the biblical heart is not simply where we experience affection. It is also involved in how we think, reason, choose, and form intentions.
Consider Proverbs 15:28, where the heart of the righteous is described as pondering how to answer.
Notice what the heart is doing. It is thinking, evaluating, and considering a response.
Then consider Mark 7:21–23, where Jesus explains that evil thoughts, deceit, pride, foolishness, and other destructive behaviors come from within the human heart.
The heart is capable of producing both loving intentions and destructive ones. It is not automatically a reliable source of wisdom simply because we associate it with emotion.
This helps us better understand why Proverbs 4:23 instructs us to guard our hearts.
What we allow to develop within us matters because it influences what eventually comes out of us.
And that includes the way we love.
What Does It Really Mean to Renew the Mind?
Romans 12:2 instructs believers not to conform to the patterns of the present age but to be transformed through the renewal of the mind.
The Greek word Paul uses for mind is nous. It is not the same word as kardia, which is commonly translated as heart.
That distinction matters when translating Scripture accurately.
However, the broader biblical understanding of the heart includes intellectual and moral dimensions of the inner person. Therefore, the renewal of our thinking cannot be separated from the larger transformation of our desires, intentions, judgments, and conduct.
Renewing the mind is not merely about collecting information or learning to think positively. It is part of becoming a transformed person.
Look at the purpose Paul gives for this renewal.
He connects transformation with the ability to discern the will of God and recognize what is good, acceptable, and perfect.
The renewed mind is not simply a mind filled with more religious information. It is a mind increasingly capable of exercising sound judgment.
Ephesians 4:22–24 presents a similar relationship between putting away former patterns of living, being renewed in the spirit of the mind, and putting on the new self.
There is an expectation that renewal will influence behavior.
This is important because someone can know a great deal of Scripture while continuing to interpret life through destructive beliefs they have never examined.
A person may know that love is patient while responding to every frustration with hostility. They may understand the command to forgive while believing forgiveness requires restoring unrestricted access to someone who has repeatedly violated their trust.
The biblical information may be correct, but their understanding and application of it may still need correction.
Knowing what Scripture teaches and learning to live according to that teaching are not necessarily the same thing.
What Neuroscience Reveals About Thinking and Emotion
Now let’s look at this from a biological perspective.
One of the fascinating things about studying the human brain is discovering just how interconnected the processes of thinking, feeling, remembering, interpreting, and behaving really are.
We sometimes talk as though the rational part of the brain operates independently from the emotional part.
But neuroscience presents a more integrated picture.
Neuroscientist Luiz Pessoa examined the relationship between emotion and cognition and argued that complex emotional and cognitive behaviors emerge through interconnected brain networks rather than completely independent systems.¹
That distinction is important because how we think can influence how we feel, and how we feel can influence how we think.
Consider the prefrontal cortex.
This region, working with other brain systems, is heavily involved in executive functions such as planning, judgment, attention, decision-making, and regulating behavior.
Researchers Earl Miller and Jonathan Cohen described how the prefrontal cortex helps organize thought and action around goals, allowing us to guide our responses rather than simply reacting to every stimulus.²
Now consider the amygdala.
The amygdala participates in processing emotionally significant information, including potential threats. It is also involved in emotional learning and the way emotional significance influences attention and memory.³
The hippocampus plays an important role in forming and organizing memories of experiences, helping us learn from what has happened and use that information in future situations.⁴
Then we have the anterior insula and anterior cingulate cortex, which participate in aspects of emotional awareness and empathy.
A meta-analysis by Lamm, Decety, and Singer identified activity in these regions when individuals observed or considered another person’s pain.⁵
The basal ganglia, including the striatum, participate in the development and expression of learned habits. Repeated behaviors can become increasingly automatic, particularly when performed in familiar circumstances.⁶
These regions do not operate as isolated departments, each controlling one human characteristic. They participate in overlapping networks, communicating and influencing one another.
Now think about what that means for our everyday relationships.
A person may experience an interaction, interpret it through previous learning and expectations, develop an emotional response, and act according to an established habit.
Much of this can happen before the individual has deliberately examined whether their interpretation is accurate.
And this brings us to something we need to understand about how our experiences shape us.
What We Repeatedly Experience and Practice Matters
Our brains have an extraordinary capacity known as neuroplasticity.
Neuroplasticity refers to the nervous system’s ability to adapt through learning, experience, and other biological influences.
Research has demonstrated that experiences can influence the organization and functioning of neural circuits. These changes can be associated with learning, memory, behavioral adaptation, and recovery.⁷
This does not mean every thought immediately rewires the brain or that every difficult experience permanently damages us.
It means the brain is not a fixed structure incapable of adapting to what we learn and experience.
Our environments, relationships, repeated behaviors, and experiences can contribute to that adaptation.
And here’s where I want you to think about your daily life.
What are you exposing yourself to?
What conversations are you participating in?
What beliefs do you repeatedly entertain?
What kinds of relationships are influencing your understanding of yourself and other people?
What behaviors are you practicing so consistently that they’ve become automatic?
We often focus on what we consciously choose to learn, but our learning is not limited to formal education.
We also learn through observation, repetition, relationships, emotional experiences, and the consequences of our actions.
Some of those influences operate outside our immediate awareness.
A child who repeatedly experiences harsh correction may begin associating correction with rejection or humiliation.
An adult who has spent years in unpredictable relationships may become particularly sensitive to signs of conflict.
Someone who has consistently been praised only when they accomplish something may begin connecting achievement with personal worth.
These are possible patterns, not inevitable outcomes. People respond differently to experiences, and no single event determines an entire person’s future.
Nevertheless, learned interpretations can influence how people respond to experiences long after the circumstances in which those interpretations developed have changed.
That brings us to another important biological connection.
Our Thinking Can Influence Our Physiological Responses
The relationship between our experiences, interpretations, and physical responses is not merely philosophical.
It is biological.
Neuroscientist Bruce McEwen extensively studied the relationship between the brain, stress, and physiological adaptation.
His research described how the brain evaluates potential threats and coordinates responses involving the nervous system, cardiovascular system, endocrine system, and immune system.
Prolonged stress can contribute to physiological wear and tear, often described through the concept of allostatic load.⁸
Now consider a familiar relational situation.
Two people receive the same correction.
One interprets it as useful feedback and an opportunity to improve.
The other interprets it as rejection or evidence of personal inadequacy.
Although the words spoken may be identical, the two individuals may experience different emotional and physiological responses because of how they interpret the interaction.
Those interpretations may be influenced by their previous experiences, current stress levels, expectations, and learned beliefs.
The body can respond to perceived threats even when those threats are social or psychological rather than immediate physical dangers.
Heart rate, muscle tension, attention, and stress-related physiological activity may all be affected.
This matters because the way we interpret experiences can influence far more than the thoughts running through our minds.
It can influence how we feel physically, how we respond emotionally, and how we behave toward others.
And the relationship works in both directions. Fatigue, pain, illness, and physiological stress can also influence our interpretations and emotional responses.
We are not disconnected parts operating independently of one another. Our biological and psychological processes continually interact.
This is why I believe it is important to approach human behavior with a whole-person understanding rather than assuming every difficulty has only one explanation.
What Happens When We Begin Challenging Our Interpretations?
There is another fascinating area of neuroscience that helps explain why examining our thinking matters.
It is called cognitive reappraisal.
Cognitive reappraisal involves reconsidering how we interpret a situation in order to change its emotional significance.
A large neuroimaging meta-analysis by Buhle and colleagues found that cognitive reappraisal engages brain networks involved in cognitive control and is associated with changes in activity in regions involved in emotional processing.⁹
In everyday language, learning to evaluate an experience differently can change how we respond emotionally.
Imagine someone who believes that disagreement always means rejection.
Every time another person disagrees with them, they become defensive, withdrawn, or angry.
Now imagine that person begins questioning the belief.
Is disagreement necessarily rejection?
Can someone disagree with me while still respecting me?
Could this person be offering information I haven’t considered?
The situation itself may not have changed.
But the individual is learning to evaluate the situation differently.
That different interpretation may allow for a different emotional and behavioral response.
Instead of immediately becoming defensive, they may listen, ask questions, and consider another perspective.
And through continued learning and practice, the person may develop more flexible responses.
This is important because we don’t always need our circumstances to change before we can begin changing how we respond to them.
Of course, not every situation can or should be resolved by changing our interpretation. Some environments and relationships genuinely are harmful, and recognizing that reality is also part of sound judgment.
The objective is not to convince ourselves that everything is fine.
The objective is to learn to distinguish between what is actually happening and what our existing beliefs may be adding to the situation.
That requires honesty, self-examination, and discernment.
Why Compassion Requires More Than Feeling
Now I want to bring this conversation back to love.
One of the most revealing things about human behavior is that we can genuinely feel compassion while responding in ways that are not compassionate.
Consider someone who discovers that a friend is struggling.
Immediately, they begin imagining what they can do to help.
They develop a plan, decide what the person needs, and begin taking action.
There’s just one problem.
They never stopped to listen.
They never asked what was actually happening, what the person had already attempted, or what kind of assistance would be useful.
Now instead of relieving a burden, they may have created additional work for someone who was already overwhelmed.
They may sincerely believe they are being loving.
But sincerity does not automatically make their understanding or actions appropriate.
This is why I believe we need to distinguish emotional responses from mature love.
Empathy can help us recognize and respond emotionally to another person’s experiences. Compassion also involves concern for that person’s well-being and the desire to respond constructively.
Researchers have investigated whether these capacities can be developed through training.
In one study, Klimecki and colleagues found that compassion training was associated with changes in positive affect and neural responses when participants encountered the suffering of others.¹⁰
Although this research does not measure Christian spiritual maturity, it demonstrates that aspects of our social and emotional responses can be influenced through learning and practice.
And this is where Philippians 1:9–10 becomes particularly meaningful.
Paul prays that love will abound in knowledge and discernment.
Notice that he doesn’t present knowledge as something that competes with love.
He connects them.
Love needs knowledge. Love needs understanding. Love needs discernment.
Because a person can feel love and still misunderstand what love requires.
A parent can confuse protection with control.
A spouse can confuse agreement with peace.
A friend can confuse constant access with loyalty.
A person can confuse rescuing someone with actually helping them.
And a Christian can confuse emotional agreeableness with the biblical command to love.
These distinctions matter because love is not simply measured by how strongly we feel something.
It must also be examined through the truthfulness, wisdom, and consequences of our actions.
First Corinthians 13 describes love through patience, kindness, humility, restraint, truth, and conduct.
These characteristics involve more than emotional experiences. They have implications for how we think, exercise self-control, respond to others, and make decisions.
Spiritual Maturity Requires More Than Information
One of the things I continue to examine in my study of Scripture and human behavior is the difference between knowing what is right and consistently practicing what is right.
We can memorize passages about patience without developing patience.
We can study forgiveness without learning to distinguish forgiveness from reconciliation.
We can teach about compassion without learning to listen.
We can speak about humility while remaining unable to receive correction.
And we can know that Scripture instructs us to renew our minds while continuing to rehearse the same destructive thought patterns that influence our behavior.
The problem is not necessarily a lack of information.
Sometimes the problem is that the information has not become integrated into how we interpret life and respond to it.
This is why Hebrews 5:14 is so important.
The author describes mature people whose discernment has been trained through practice.
Not merely through exposure to information.
Through practice.
Philippians 4:8 also directs believers to consider what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and worthy of praise.
These instructions demonstrate that Scripture takes seriously what occupies our thinking and how we develop discernment.
But this does not mean spiritual transformation is something we manufacture through mental exercises alone.
Scripture also speaks about the work of God in transforming the inner person, including the promise of a new heart in Ezekiel 36:26.
The Christian understanding of renewal involves more than behavioral techniques. It includes our relationship with God, our response to His Word, and the work of the Holy Spirit.
What neuroscience offers is a way to better understand some of the biological and psychological processes involved in human learning and behavioral change.
The biblical authors were not describing the prefrontal cortex, amygdala, hippocampus, or neural plasticity.
However, looking at these biblical principles through what we understand about human biology today gives us an opportunity to appreciate how deeply our thinking, experiences, and repeated behaviors are connected to the way we live.
We do not need to pretend Scripture was secretly teaching modern neuroscience to recognize that connection.
Nor do we need to separate our biology from our spiritual lives as though one has nothing to do with the other.
We are embodied human beings.
Our thinking, emotions, physical responses, relationships, habits, and choices interact as we move through life.
And transformation concerns the person living that life.
The Renewal of the Mind Must Become Evident in How We Live
So what does all of this mean in practical terms?
It means we need to become more intentional about examining what shapes our thinking.
Not simply what we read or watch, but also the relationships we maintain, the environments we participate in, the beliefs we repeatedly rehearse, and the behaviors we continue practicing.
It means recognizing that an emotional response does not automatically establish the truth of our interpretation.
Feeling rejected doesn’t necessarily mean someone has rejected us.
Feeling threatened doesn’t necessarily mean someone intends to harm us.
Feeling compassion doesn’t automatically mean we understand what another person needs.
And feeling convinced that we are right doesn’t eliminate the possibility that we have misunderstood something.
We need to develop the willingness to examine our assumptions rather than treating every automatic response as trustworthy.
That also means being willing to learn from our mistakes.
When someone tells us that our attempt to help has created additional problems, are we willing to listen?
When someone challenges our interpretation of a situation, can we examine it without immediately becoming defensive?
When our behavior contradicts the values and convictions we claim to hold, are we willing to acknowledge the contradiction?
These are opportunities to practice discernment, humility, patience, and self-control.
They are also opportunities to learn different responses.
And over time, repeated learning and practice can contribute to changes in the psychological and biological processes involved in how we respond.
We should not confuse this with a guarantee that every harmful pattern will disappear or that every physiological response can be consciously controlled.
Human behavior is far more complicated than that.
But we do have the capacity to learn, grow, examine our thinking, and practice healthier ways of relating to ourselves and others.
And for the Christian, these efforts belong within the larger process of spiritual formation and obedience to God.
What Is Shaping Your Heart?
Here’s what I want to leave you thinking about.
We spend a great deal of time evaluating what other people do and how they treat us.
But how often do we examine the beliefs, assumptions, and habits that influence how we treat them?
What information are we continually allowing into our lives?
What experiences are we interpreting through old beliefs that may no longer be accurate?
What behaviors have we repeated so often that we no longer stop to question them?
And are those patterns producing the kind of character, discernment, and love Scripture calls us to develop?
There is a reason the renewal of the mind matters.
We cannot expect to consistently produce mature love while refusing to examine the thinking that governs our understanding and practice of love.
Love is not simply an emotion we experience. It is something we must learn to exercise with knowledge, truth, wisdom, and discernment.
And as we learn to examine our thinking, practice healthier responses, and bring our beliefs and conduct into alignment with truth, that transformation can become evident in how we live.
Not simply in what we say we believe.
But in the way we listen, the way we respond, the way we make decisions, and the way we love one another.
That is the kind of renewal worth pursuing.
References
- Pessoa, L. (2008). On the relationship between emotion and cognition. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 9(2), 148–158.
- Miller, E. K., & Cohen, J. D. (2001). An integrative theory of prefrontal cortex function. Annual Review of Neuroscience, 24, 167–202.
- Phelps, E. A., & LeDoux, J. E. (2005). Contributions of the amygdala to emotion processing: From animal models to human behavior. Neuron, 48(2), 175–187.
- Squire, L. R., & Wixted, J. T. (2011). The cognitive neuroscience of human memory since H.M. Annual Review of Neuroscience, 34, 259–288.
- Lamm, C., Decety, J., & Singer, T. (2011). Meta-analytic evidence for common and distinct neural networks associated with directly experienced pain and empathy for pain. NeuroImage, 54(3), 2492–2502.
- Wood, W., & Rünger, D. (2016). Psychology of habit. Annual Review of Psychology, 67, 289–314.
- Kolb, B., Gibb, R., & Robinson, T. E. (2003). Brain plasticity and behavior. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 12(1), 1–5.
- McEwen, B. S. (2007). Physiology and neurobiology of stress and adaptation: Central role of the brain. Physiological Reviews, 87(3), 873–904.
- Buhle, J. T., Silvers, J. A., Wager, T. D., Lopez, R., Onyemekwu, C., Kober, H., Weber, J., & Ochsner, K. N. (2014). Cognitive reappraisal of emotion: A meta-analysis of human neuroimaging studies. Cerebral Cortex, 24(11), 2981–2990.
- Klimecki, O. M., Leiberg, S., Ricard, M., & Singer, T. (2014). Differential pattern of functional brain plasticity after compassion and empathy training. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, 9(6), 873–879.
